In Awe of God



February 8, 2019 7:56 pm Published by

“Jesus, I’m in awe of You tonight.”

            These words of praise were filled with gratitude as I gazed at the unfamiliar sparkle on the lake and the crisp azure sky that met it at the horizon. The trees were dressed in a crisp array of greens. Their uniquely shaped knotholes bestowed historic mysteries. My world changed in 30 hours—after wearing glasses for 50 years. Cataract surgery replaced triple vision with a crisp 20/20. I was in awe that I could see like never before—and for answered prayer.

            When surgery was over and they wheeled me to recovery, I cried, “I can see!” Five minutes after surgery, even through the fog of a new lens, I could see clear letters on an innocuous sign. At my recheck the next day, the doctor couldn’t believe I already saw better than 20/20. He said, “Only by the power of prayer.” Prayers were indeed answered beyond my wildest expectations.

            A blind man named Bartimaeus sat alongside the road and called out to Jesus, “Have mercy on me!” Jesus inquired, “What do you want me to do for you?” Bartimaeus answered, “I want to see” Mark 10:46-52; Matt. 20: 29-33; Luke 18:41 (NIV). Jesus didn’t ask the blind man, “Why do you want to see?” Instead, He asked what He could do to serve.

            Before surgery, the nurse anesthetist asked me, “What do you want me to do for you?” She didn’t ask why I wanted help. She was there to make me comfortable.

            Don’t get me wrong—why can be a powerful word. But sometimes my why put attention on my needs or feelings, rather than on serving God or others. I know people who didn’t have positive outcomes with cataract surgery or have incurable illnesses. I had to make end of life decisions for both my parents. I questioned God, “Why have You given restoration to me and not for them?” This why put emphasis on me, rather than Jesus.

            I want to see His desires for me with 20/20 vision, not through a clouded lens. God is teaching me to step beyond the why to get to the what. There is power in the what—Jesus asks me what do I want Him to do for me, and I need to ask Jesus what He wants me to do for Him.

            At a recent practicum led by author Eva Marie Everson, we were asked to reflect on these two questions.  I wrote, “What do I want You to do? Illuminate Your path and put my path in the shadows. Here am I, Lord. Send me.” Looking for the what gives me renewed eagerness and passion to live out His will for my life.

            My physical eyesight is being restored—my spiritual vision is taking new depth. The Holy Spirit is taking me on a journey to discover, “Lord, what can I do for You.” Not why.

            I laugh when I recall how often I asked my parents, “Why?” I think youthful and spiritual maturity teaches when to replace why with the what.

“Then everyone who has eyes will be able to see the truth, and everyone who has ears will be able to hear it” Isa. 32:3-4 (NLT).

“If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light” Matt. 6:22 (NIV).

Oh, how I want my spiritual eyes to be open to see Jesus!

            Jesus, I’m in awe of you. Please replace the clouded lens of my soul with 20/20 vision to do what You want me to do for You, rather than ask You why.

Copyright 2019 Cheryl Crofoot Knapp. Used by permission.

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